Shopping For A Toilet

Wondering
How many poems have been composed
By someone
Sitting on a commode
I stand with my wife in the center aisle
Of the local home depot

Admiring an impressive row
Of perfect porcelain tens
With shiny faces and silky skin
And the most efficient
Flushing systems
Ever Known to man.

Some of these, we are told
Can flush a hundred golf balls
But we might not need one of those
Says the resident expert
On human excrement flow.

I want one like Obama has
Or the Prince of Saudi Arabia;
Perhaps a Pentagon special –
One that costs
Five thousand dollars
Or a super-hero brand
So I could crap like superman.

“You need a Kohler,” says the man –
“Toilet of choice for the power elite
People who pack a punch in their poop

Always go for one of these.”
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